Is the one is what I want?

I've been thinking a lot. Once in a while, it crosses my mind.

About what?

About the things I'm doing, the things I'm capable of doing, the things I love doing.

This needs courage. I need courage.

Am I happy doing what I'm doing? Am I really?

Or I tried to. At least.

But don't get me wrong.

I'm blessed. I really am.

I have everything I've ever wanted.

The route I'm taking.

Is it what I really wanted?

Will I be happy with it?

Since I'll be facing it more than anything for the rest of my lives. 

Yet I couldn't be sure of it.

It have not even started and I'm here now already doubting myself.

Deep down, I've actually found the one.

The one that could make me smile even though it's tiring.

Yes, I know both will be just as tiring.

But at least, I would really enjoyed being tired with the one.

However, I could not bare to leave everything behind.

Though I know nothing is a waste.

Just a lesson learnt.

The thought of it sometimes scares me but it does cheer me too.

And same goes to the one.

There are obligations I got to look up to.

Certainly, I will not be that person again.

No more 'halfway journey'.

It's either Route A or Route B.

But nope, I'm not going to choose.

At least for now.

Going to be a little lot greedier but much more exhausted.

So both choices I shall.

I'm writing myself something.

Something to remind me when I starts to have doubts again.

To read again and to ask myself.

Is the one is what I want?

Signing off,