May Discovery

Hello, welcoming the month of June.

May had been great!

Discovered something that really makes me... what do I call it? Happy perhaps. All smiles whenever I think about it. Like a girl in love. Hah

Hence, the supposed to be a busy month of May, I get a little distracted on my obsession for BAKING again.

Not sure 'again' is the correct word but this obsession never really stops before. It still frequently appeared in my mind whatever, whenever or wherever I go. ;)

Then why do I say I discovered it during the month of May?

Here's why.

I did mentioned that I work part time in a pastry shop starting April right?

FYI, my last day of work at Shervone Cakes & Pastry are on 13 May 2016. So I approximately worked there for about one and a half month only.

To be honest, I've learned quite a lot of stuffs while working there. Gonna miss baking there though.

If I'm not wrong, I said before that this work might either make me love baking even more or the opposite, hate it! Oh yes, it really did project much more obvious traits in me than ever and guess what?
LOVE or HATE? (obviously you know the answer already)

A definite LOVE!

Anyways, most of the time when I was working, all I do was baking, baking, a bit of decorating and more baking.

This is where I started to get really attracted to decorating cakes and getting creative ideas of beautiful cakes in my mind. Inspirations came flow in as if I just break into a beehive. Haha

Plus, I realized that in baking industry, I don't think I could work for someone else because it really limits your own creative ideas. Especially when decorating cakes cause you'll need to follow orders as in what you need to do and what you cannot do. (I don't mean the customers though)

Let's make an assumption, if I work for myself and I don't like using fondant in deco (nobody eats it anyway), then I could find better alternatives like modelling chocolate. (Nobody will ever say no to chocolate right?) But you cannot say NO if your boss say you gotta use fondant right? Of course the consequence is that the modelling chocolate will be way more expensive than fondant which is purely sugar.

Now I know why there's so many homemade cakes out there. You can only really enjoy the baking and decorating process if you work on your own.
CHEERS to own creativity, flowing inspirations, no limitations etc.

By the way, do you know how keen I can be towards the addiction to bakery? Ask the boyfriend to see how crazy I am. Heh

Or I'll just tell you la.

For example, when my boyfriend and I go dating and we do some shopping, I rarely go to any shops/boutiques selling apparels, cosmetics or even the heels/shoes like a normal lady would go to. Besides, I'll go for bakery shops, Daiso, Tesco etc. all just to shop for baking ingredients and baking utensils. I did it as if it's like my collections. My only limitation is there's no space for me to put all my collections. (Dad would be furious) All in all, I'm getting addicted to it I admit. ;)

Also, I did went into shops like SenQ, Harvey Norman, SEC, Ban Hin Bee (electrical shops) etc to just have a look at all the electric mixers and ovens. I need to own one electric mixer like seriously. I currently owning a hand mixer only so there's kind of a limit to the pastries I could bake. My dream is obviously to own a Kitchen Aid but it's really expensive for me right now. Unless, you plan to surprise me one. Haha Anyways, I think I'll go with the cheaper ones first. 

On top of all that addiction, I started stalking/following lots of beautiful cakes' accounts in Instagram and even Snapchat.

Nah, proof ! Hahaha

In conclusion, I know you geddit already, I'm really quite into this. Haha

That idea even passes my mind. It is to start selling beautiful and delicious cakes after I done experimenting the best kind of recipes. Just to fill in the past time, of course.

Will you be interested to buy cakes that costs not little (maybe ranges about RM 30 - RM 100) from an amateur baker? Not cheap you know all the ingredients plus the effort of experimenting the best one before selling it. Of course it would be beautifully decorated. Heh

But first, I gotta really remain focus on my coming ACCA P7 exam on 6 June, which is just only a few days away. Oh gosh.

And yes on April, I did said that I did not even start revising yet. (The-last-minute-kind) Obviously, I'm not in the same condition la now abo ma die liao.

I'm actually quite prepared for it already but still.... not really ready to face it yet but I think it's pretty normal cause nobody will be entirely well prepared and ready before an exam. Unless you know what's the questions are already Hah.

So best of luck to me and I'll see you again after this terrifying exam.

Toodles,

Is the one is what I want?

I've been thinking a lot. Once in a while, it crosses my mind.

About what?

About the things I'm doing, the things I'm capable of doing, the things I love doing.

This needs courage. I need courage.

Am I happy doing what I'm doing? Am I really?

Or I tried to. At least.

But don't get me wrong.

I'm blessed. I really am.

I have everything I've ever wanted.

The route I'm taking.

Is it what I really wanted?

Will I be happy with it?

Since I'll be facing it more than anything for the rest of my lives. 

Yet I couldn't be sure of it.

It have not even started and I'm here now already doubting myself.

Deep down, I've actually found the one.

The one that could make me smile even though it's tiring.

Yes, I know both will be just as tiring.

But at least, I would really enjoyed being tired with the one.

However, I could not bare to leave everything behind.

Though I know nothing is a waste.

Just a lesson learnt.

The thought of it sometimes scares me but it does cheer me too.

And same goes to the one.

There are obligations I got to look up to.

Certainly, I will not be that person again.

No more 'halfway journey'.

It's either Route A or Route B.

But nope, I'm not going to choose.

At least for now.

Going to be a little lot greedier but much more exhausted.

So both choices I shall.

I'm writing myself something.

Something to remind me when I starts to have doubts again.

To read again and to ask myself.

Is the one is what I want?

Signing off,